The best way to repair a marriage is to never experience a relationship collision in the first place, and that work begins before the bride walks down the aisle to her waiting groom. Nearly half of marriages end in divorce, resulting in personal devastation to the husband, wife, and children.
Successful, strong marriages are the product of combining the complementary strengths of both the man and woman; then using that power to build a family on a strong foundation of Christian principles. There is no greater blessing on earth than a loving, faithful spouse.
Healthy Marriages Require Stable Partners
Both husband and wife must have experience being in successful relationships with friends, family, and others before they can possibly build a right relationship with each other. Many marriages die because the bride and groom did not come to their union prepared to contribute, but only to consume.
Anyone who enters a marriage crippled by a broken spirit or seeking to fill some emotional empty place is looking for a savior, not a spouse.
Savior or Spouse
The man who marries a woman damaged by life experience or with some great insecurity is not getting a helpmate; the woman he marries is getting a resource that she will draw from until she is repaired, filled, or until his well runs dry. The same is true for a woman who marries a broken man, who in essence sacrifices herself that he may be made whole again.
In the few cases where the damaged spouse is repaired or refilled by their partner, the one who was drained dry in the effort usually has nothing left to offer to the relationship and the marriage ends. Marriage is a partnership, not a prescription where one agrees to medicate, or serve, the other.
The Great Physician
Any deficits of circumstance or errors of character must be addressed by the Great Physician. A spouse cannot fix what is broken or fill what is empty. Asking a spouse to do the work of the Spirit will cripple a union from “I do.” Marriage is not a remedial relationship.
Years and assets are spent digging out, filling in, re-arranging, and remodeling in remedial relationships. Should the weak spouse finally become strong, there is usually nothing left in the sacrificial spouse to offer in some “new” improved relationship. The years of remodeling took their toll and the “savior” spouse has run dry.
Marriage is a building process that looks forward, it isn’t a remodeling project.
God alone fills our empty places and repairs the fractures in our spirit and psyche. Your spouse is a lover and a helpmate, one with whom you share the joys, challenges, blessings, and journey of life. Husbands and wives are not to be trials to one another. A wife and husband are the wine that fills the marital cup until it runneth over.
Marriage is More Than the Sum of Two People
Together a man and wife become more by the work of the Holy Spirit. One is not sucked dry to feed the other, or to fill in some great gaping hole so the wounded one can finally reach the surface and begin anew. Dating and engagements offer men and women the opportunity to find strong partners; full of faith, full of hope, and ready to build something new in marriage.
There is One who came to sacrifice Himself to fix your issues, fill your emptiness, repair what is broken, and create a new life in you. There is indeed One who offered Himself and is faithful to complete this good work in you. It is not your spouse; it is your Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus paid it all.
